top of page
  • Writer's pictureMeghan Doyle

Embracing Solitude: Conquering the Fear of Being Alone and Overcoming Loneliness

Alone. Loneliness. By yourself.

Words that may mean nothing to some, but may be the epitome of others. These words can be bothersome, after all no one likes to live life in pure solitude. For most, they may be alone all the time and can never get an answer as to why they always have no one. Then there are others too, who are always around many, many people, but may feel so alone the crowd surrounding them might as well not exist. So I wonder what’s better, to be alone and actually have no one, or to surround yourself with others so you don’t look alone, even though you feel as lonely as the single moon in the entire night sky. Besides, who isn’t scared to be alone? We are meant to be with good company, and with one another. Although at the same time, you can also be lonely and be by yourself.

It's a challenge for some, to do simple daily routines or activities by themselves, let alone big extravagant events. No one likes being seen alone either. How horrifying that would be, to go and do anything by yourself knowing others will stop and stare, or even possibly judge you. Why is she alone, does she have no friends? To prevent such a thing, some will latch on to anyone that they can, even to the worst possible friends, to at least say and look like they are with someone. It’s more meaningful to do things with others, isn’t it? But how desired do you feel when you’re around people who you have zero connection with? It’s the lack of connection really, that causes loneliness. The feeling of being around others who are empty, who make you feel empty also. The feeling of being with others who don’t feel like home. Many could even agree that home usually isn’t a place, but a person. So what is the use of going anywhere with others when you don’t feel needed around them?

Going out to dinner by yourself would be the hardest. How awkward would that be, going to a restaurant and standing in the foyer alone, dressed up as if waiting for a date. You see booths filled with couples, family members and friends. But it’s still okay, everyone else may think you’re simply waiting for someone or you’re going to meet someone who's already dining inside. Then it’s daunting isn’t it? The anxiety kicks in as the server walks up to you and asks for how many. Your response to dinner for one leaves them confused, and they may even ask you if you’re waiting for someone, as if looking for clarification. Your firm answer of no leaves them even more baffled, but they take you to your table anyway. Then when you think about it, isn’t it lovely as well? You can take however long you wish to finish your meal, and you don’t have to worry about anyone interrupting you in between bites. You can sit and enjoy a fantastic read of a new book you’ve had no time to start, and you can ask for the bill at whatever time you desire. Isn’t it even more lovely that you can get up and go for dinner at any place, or any time you wish? I know everyone has at least tried making plans with someone that is equivalent to pulling teeth. Maybe they're taking too long to respond, or can’t decide on a location. Or maybe you had plans that they cancelled at the last minute, and now you’ve wasted a Friday night sitting at home alone.

Then of course when you go by yourself, everything is easy, at peace, and on your terms. What's wrong with enjoying a night by yourself anyway, even if you might be fearful of what other people are thinking. Although other people’s opinions aren’t supposed to matter and you aren’t supposed to live your life to the judgment of others, do you really think the world revolves around you to the point where people think and care or even notice you sitting somewhere by yourself? Think about it, when was the last time you went anywhere and noticed someone by themselves and then thought of something negative in response. First off you’ve probably never noticed anyone doing anything by themselves as we are all too preoccupied by our own world, that we don’t pay that much attention to the daily lives of strangers. Although if you do, you most likely have never noticed someone alone and thought anything harsh as to there being a reason why they’re alone. So why would anyone look at you like that? In most cases, they won’t.

Being your best friend I think is one of the simplest answers to a lot of loneliness related problems. You’ll learn a lot and discover a lot about yourself, especially when you go on about your day in complete solitude. Be your own best friend, and maybe try taking yourself out for dinner for once. It is almost guaranteed that others could let you down, but it is just as certain that you won’t let yourself down or disappoint yourself.

33 views0 comments


bottom of page