Embracing Change: Understanding the Challenge and Building Resilience

We’ve all been there—planning out our week, setting intentions, organizing our time—only for life to throw us a curveball. Maybe a meeting gets rescheduled, your childcare falls through, or the weather derails an outdoor plan you were really looking forward to. Suddenly, that sense of structure vanishes, and in its place comes a wave of frustration, stress, or even anxiety. Sound familiar?

While these disruptions might seem small on the surface, the discomfort they create is very real. Humans are creatures of habit, and our brains are wired to seek out predictability. So when something changes—especially unexpectedly—it can feel like more than just a hiccup. It can feel overwhelming, disorienting, or even like we’ve lost our footing entirely. But here’s the good news: this reaction isn’t a personal flaw or a lack of flexibility. There’s actual science behind why adapting to change is tough, and understanding that can be a powerful step in learning how to deal with life’s inevitable detours.

In this post, we’ll explore why our brains struggle with changing plans, and share five practical tips to help you become more adaptable—so the next time life goes off-script, you’ll feel more capable, more grounded, and more at ease. Plus, we’ll recommend a short, guided meditation to help you recenter when things feel “off.” Let’s dive in.

How to adapt when life changes?

Why Is It So Hard to Change Plans?

Have you ever noticed how a small shift in your day—like a canceled coffee date or a last-minute work task—can throw you completely off balance? You’re not imagining things. The discomfort we feel when plans change isn’t just about inconvenience; it’s rooted in how our brains are wired.

At its core, the human brain thrives on predictability. According to neuroscientists, one of the brain’s main functions is to conserve energy and reduce uncertainty (Bar, 2009). When we create a plan or set a routine, our brain builds an internal map of what’s going to happen. This mental map gives us a sense of safety, control, and cognitive efficiency — we can anticipate what's next without needing to consciously process every detail.

Our internal map helps our brain to conserve energy.

When a plan changes unexpectedly, that map no longer works. Our brains must recalculate, which requires more mental effort. This sudden demand can feel disorienting and even stressful, especially when we’re already carrying a full emotional or cognitive load. Think of it like being abruptly pulled out of autopilot and thrown into manual mode, at a moment you weren’t prepared for.

What’s more, changes in plans activate the brain’s error-detection system, particularly the anterior cingulate cortex (Botvinick et al., 2001). This part of the brain flags discrepancies between what we expect and what’s actually happening. While this system helps us adapt and respond to surprises, it also triggers a stress response when those surprises feel like threats to our sense of order or goals.

Another layer to this puzzle is emotional attachment. Often, our plans are connected to things we’re looking forward to, goals we’ve set, or needs we’re trying to meet: connection, accomplishment, or rest. So when something disrupts the plan, it can feel like we’re being denied that emotional payoff, leading to disappointment or even a sense of grief, depending on the situation.

And let’s not forget routines. Research shows that daily routines create psychological stability and are associated with better mental health and stress resilience (Smyth et al., 2017). When routines are disrupted—even slightly—it can rattle our sense of rhythm and make us feel out of sync with ourselves.

In short, changing plans disrupts our brain’s preference for predictability, efficiency, and emotional regulation. It’s not about being inflexible—it’s about being human.

So, how can we get better at adapting?

While change can feel uncomfortable, sometimes even overwhelming, it’s also a part of life that we can learn to navigate with more ease. The good news? Adaptability is a skill, not a personality trait. That means it can be practiced, strengthened, and nurtured over time.

Whether you’re facing an unexpected schedule shift, a bigger life transition, or simply dealing with things not going as planned, there are small, practical ways to support your brain and body through it. Here are five evidence-informed strategies that can help you move from resistance to resilience when life takes an unexpected turn.

1. Acknowledge the Discomfort, Don’t Push It Away

It’s tempting to immediately brush off frustration, anxiety, or sadness when plans change, but pretending you're not feeling anything only creates more inner tension. Research in emotional regulation shows that acknowledging your emotions without judgment can actually help reduce their intensity (Gross, 2015).

Try saying to yourself: “I’m feeling disappointed right now, and that’s okay.” Giving your emotions a name helps your brain process them more effectively, making space for calmer decision-making.

2. Pause Before Reacting

When something unexpected happens, your brain may quickly jump into fight-or-flight mode. But not every change is an emergency. Take a few deep breaths, step away for a moment, or do a quick grounding exercise. This simple pause allows your nervous system to settle and gives your rational brain (the prefrontal cortex) a chance to come back. From there, you’re more equipped to respond with intention rather than impulse.

Example: If a friend cancels plans last-minute, instead of spiraling into frustration, take a breath and check in with yourself: “What do I need right now instead?” You might discover a different way to enjoy the time.

3. Shift from “Why Is This Happening?” to “What Can I Do Now?”

Ruminating on why something changed often leads to stress. Instead, gently guide your focus toward what’s still within your control. This cognitive reframing helps activate problem-solving parts of the brain and has been shown to reduce stress and increase resilience (Troy et al., 2010).

Try this: Create a “Plan B” checklist for your day, even if it’s simple: “If the meeting is canceled, I’ll use that hour to go for a walk or clear my inbox.” Having a backup plan can make change feel less destabilizing.

4. Practice Flexible Thinking

Our brains naturally crave patterns and predictability—it’s efficient! But over-reliance on rigid routines can backfire when things shift. One way to build mental flexibility is to intentionally do small things differently throughout your week. Take a different route to work, try a new recipe, or change the order of your morning routine. These “mini challenges” teach your brain that change isn’t always threatening—it can be interesting, even energizing.

Bonus: Studies show that flexibility is associated with greater psychological well-being (Kashdan & Rottenberg, 2010).

5. Have Tools Ready for When Change Feels Overwhelming

It’s harder to regulate your nervous system when you’re in the middle of stress, so it helps to build a toolkit of calming strategies before you need them. This might include a few grounding techniques, a playlist of calming music, or a short guided meditation you enjoy. When plans shift and that “off” feeling creeps in, these tools can help you recalibrate more quickly.

Spotify tip: Try the “5-Minute Guided Meditation” by Headspace. It’s a gentle, guided meditation designed to help reset your mind when things feel scattered.

Additional Resource: Headspace

If you’re looking for accessible ways to bring more calm and clarity into your day, Headspace offers fantastic tools for mindfulness — both visually and audibly. The Netflix series Headspace Guide to Meditation is a beautifully animated and easy-to-follow introduction to different meditation practices, each episode exploring themes like stress, focus, and letting go. For those who prefer audio-only, the Headspace playlist on Spotify provides a variety of guided meditations tailored to different needs, from winding down after a busy day to finding focus in the morning. These resources are ideal for anyone curious about mindfulness or looking for simple ways to reset, especially when life feels off track.

🎧 Listen here: Headspace playlist on Spotify

Finding Ease in the Unexpected

Change is never easy, but it doesn’t have to feel impossible. Whether it’s a canceled trip, a shift in your daily routine, or an unexpected detour in life’s bigger plans, your discomfort is valid. Our brains are wired to find comfort in the familiar, and when that’s disrupted, it can trigger real emotional and physical responses. But with awareness, curiosity, and a few practical tools, we can begin to meet those moments with more flexibility and less fear.

Adapting isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being kind to yourself while learning to flow with life’s inevitable curveballs. Try experimenting with the tips above. Revisit them when you feel off-track. And remember: building emotional agility takes time, just like any other skill.

If changes are feeling especially overwhelming right now, or if you’d like extra support navigating uncertainty, we’re currently accepting new clients for psychotherapy sessions at True Health Therapy. Sessions can be in-person, online, or even outdoors—whatever works best for you. Feel free to reach out via DM, call us at 647-625-9867, or email truehealththerapy@gmail.com. We’d be happy to walk alongside you.

References

• Bar, M. (2009). The proactive brain: using analogies and associations to generate predictions. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 13(7), 280–289. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2009.04.004→ Explains how the brain uses prior experiences to predict future events, emphasizing our preference for predictability.

• Botvinick, M. M., Braver, T. S., Barch, D. M., Carter, C. S., & Cohen, J. D. (2001). Conflict monitoring and cognitive control. Psychological Review, 108(3), 624–652. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.108.3.624→ Describes how the anterior cingulate cortex detects conflicts between expected and actual outcomes.

• Centerstone. (2022). Adjusting to Change: Adapt and Overcome. Retrieved from https://centerstone.org/adjusting-to-change-adapt-and-overcome/

• Levvel. (n.d.). The Psychology of Change: Why It's Hard and How to Make It Easier. Retrieved from https://levvel.ca/insights/the-psychology-of-change-why-its-hard-and-how-to-make-it-easier

• McGonigal, K. (2015). The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It. Avery Publishing.

• Samuel, A. (2020). Why Is Change So Hard? Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-truth-about-exercise-addiction/201608/why-is-change-so-hard

• Smyth, J. M., Zawadzki, M. J., Santuzzi, A. M. (2017). Daily stress response patterns, health and well-being. In Stress: Concepts, Cognition, Emotion, and Behavior (pp. 87–93). Academic Press.→ Discusses how routines and structure contribute to emotional and mental well-being.